Handling foreign languages in fiction writing

Many of my characters speak languages other than English. While I try to keep their non-English phrases to a minimum, foreign script can sometimes help to enhance the depth of a character, or even add a bit of humor.

The problem is, however, that the reader might not understand what is being said. The phrase needs to be translated.

Now, of the many ways to handle a foreign language phrase or comment, here are two examples.

"¡Qué tonto! [What a fool!]"

This works, but it is stale. It also leads to the writer using this method throughout the book wherever there is a foreign phrase. The question is: Can the bracket method be used to great effect? Absolutely! This method could work well with a detailed conversation between two people, especially where there are other characters who might not understand what is being said, or where the two conversing want to keep their discussion private.

Just leave out the foreign words.

"[Please forgive me. I have not yet mastered your tongue]," said Max.
"[There is nothing to forgive, my friend. I find your accent to be quite refreshing]," Koji responded as he handed Max a cup of hot green tea.

But with short, singular exchanges I believe a better way is to reveal what has been said through dialogue:

"¡Qué tonto!" Mary exclaimed.
"Huh? I'm no fool," said Juan. "Why are you saying that?"

Although the Spanish in the above-example is correct, a character speaking incorrectly can also be used to great effect.

For example, last night in class we were critiquing the works of a fellow student. The protagonist, a female food server, was in the kitchen of the restaurant where she worked. She told the workers (plural) to return to work, but her verb, return (volver, in the infinitive) was conjugated incorrectly - in the singular, second-person imperative form. She had mixed her plural and her singular when addressing more than one person. There was only one spelling error (with the verb estar, or "to be"), which could easily be corrected (and needed to be), but the fact that the character was speaking incorrectly actually endeared her to me. I worked in restaurants for many years, and have heard more mangled Spanish than I'd care to remember. Still, it was cute that the character was communicating with her fellow employees in their own language.

Aside from the incorrect grammar, the writer didn't offer any form of a translation. In this case, she just uttered the phrase and the scene moved on. Any non-Spanish-speaking person wouldn't know what the character had said.

But what it did do was provide an opportunity for the writer to create a "moment."

While I won't show verbatim what the student had written, here is an example.

"¡Idiotas! ¿Por qué no trabajas como yo?" 

Translated, this says "Idiots! Why don't you (singular) work like me?"

This is similar to the phrase by the student writer. It is also incorrect. Idiotas is plural, while trabajas is the second-person singular conjugation for the verb "to work." Correct usage would have been to write trabajan - a small, yet critical difference.

The phrase shows (to someone who understands what she is trying to say) that the protagonist speaks little Spanish, but enough to communicate, so her incorrect verb conjugation is excused.. But here is where opportunity resides: it can also be enhanced to show she has a relationship with the guys in the kitchen, whether amicable or antagonistic. Having one of the kitchen workers respond back in English (broken, even) can not only translate what she had just said, but also set the tone for their relationship.

So let's do this again:

"¡Idiotas! ¿Por qué no trabajas como yo?" I said, in my best, worst Spanish ever.
"Ay, mamita, we all work more harder than you!" Enrique shot back at me with a smile.

See? Now the protagonist has spoken Spanish, admitted (to the non-Spanish-speaking reader) that it's imperfect, and Enrique has provided the translation, as well as a show of friendliness. Idiotas is a given - most English speakers will get that word. I wouldn't even worry about the incorrect conjugation of "to work (trabajas)." A Spanish-speaking reader will get it and probably like the phrase even more, where a non-Spanish speaker wouldn't know the difference anyway.

In closing, adding foreign language to a manuscript can help to accentuate the reader experience if done properly. My advice is to run your non-English phrases by an educated, native speaker of the language first. If your character is supposed to be a non-fluent speaker of the foreign language, let your assistant know this, and get the proper words spelled correctly, even if sentence structure and/or verb conjugations are intentionally wrong.

Oh, and one more thing. Don't rely on translation websites, such as Google Translate. While they can help to give you a start, they (the latter in particular) don't do very well in translating verb conjugations from English to Spanish/Italian/French etc. There are a multitude of reasons for this, but I'll save that all for a Spanish lesson one of these days. SB